unsettled

The illness drama from last week has left me unsettled.  I’ve had several people tell me that I need to not ” care so much” about things on my path, other people, etc…It’s left me really emotional really because that isn’t my modus operendi…I am an emotional creature, striving for balance, and how my path works is very hands on. So now am left with a quandary.  How can I do what I enjoy what is on my path and yet do as others suggest?  I’ved tried to rest more, today even taking one of the dreaded nitro pills to soften the edges of pain and took a short nap.  But I’m angry with myself because of frailty of health.  The preoccupation of self had taken focus away from a special part of my life..and that makes me sad.  The one part that feeds me is now sitting because I have to focus on another part.  And I resent those who tell me to step away from that part of self that sits.  Do I tell them to walk away from church because god didnt hear their cry this week?  I have no answers…and there is nobody close I want to dump this on…so it goes out in this crap and hopefully as it moves on, I can find a place to stand to wait this out.